Hilarious! Part I

Senator Matt McCoy (IA R)

Hey kids, wanted you to know that my high stress levels, that were killing me in Iowa, have all but disappeared.  I am, no question, a new guy.  Things are going a little slow, getting it all together, but I believe I might have a damn good paying job already...I'll keep ya posted.

Let's begin with one of my new favorite politicians, Senator Matt McCoy.  Now, Senator McCoy, all in all, is just what Iowa needs...someone with a fresh outlook, fresh opinions, and fresh...well, fresh ANYTHING.  Iowa is just NOTORIOUS for loving (and, it would seem, electing) all things old.  Old music (classic rock, oldies rock, all the old hits...I used to DJ weddings, it always drove me INSANE...no one wants anything new, only tried and true will do the trick), old houses, historical this and that...and worst of all, old Governors and stuffy old Senators (yes Grassley, I'm talkin' bout YOU).  Doesn't matter that the "head" or "Director" of DHS, Charles Palmer, is 1900 years old...doesn't matter that Senator Grassley is in Judicial dementia, and needs Medicaid...Iowans love old things, and both these L-O-S-E-R-S are ready for the moth factory.

Enter then, our illustrious (and, of course, OLD) Governor, Terry Brandstad, who, as you all well know, is a beady-eyed little bastard who's too old to bend down and tie his own laces anymore.  You may also remember that this crook got his kid off owhen he killed two old people off in a drunken stupor, with just $18 worth of court costs, and NO JAIL TIME.  I can't state enough that this tired ol' criminal has been in the Governor's office in this country, more years than ANYBODY (yes, he currently holds the U.S. record!)  I cannot BELIEVE the people of Iowa EVER were stupid enough to vote this guy BACK into the ol' Gubernatorial armchair...but, you have to remember too, that he's OLD...OLD evidently equals IN THERE to Iowans.  He's over 70, so evidently that means he's a good Governor, or Senator.

Then, in whomps Senator McCoy (yay, Matt to the rescue!), and decides, along with a few more young professional politicians (evidently the only "young professionals" that are actually EVER going to do anything at all for Iowa), to do an audit on how Iowa DHS does business.  Naturally, this MAY HAVE gotten my attention...just a little bit.  The other day, however, I got what I thought MIGHT BE a rather disappointing letter from our young Senator.  Please keep in mind that Trumpty Dumpty assigned this man to be our Chinese Ambassador (I can't help but wonder if maybe this might have been to get the guy off his back, where getting a position in the White House was concerned...he was probably bugging the crap out of Trump...and what better way to take out the garbage, then send someone off to China, eh?)  Here's what it said:

(complete with pictures)

HOSTS & VOLUNTEERS NEEDED! Party in 2 Days! View this email in your browser

THIS Thursday. Bon Voyage Branstad Party. HOSTS & VOLUNTEERS Needed. Hosts will receive special recognition. Sign up to volunteer for the party or for future events. BECOME A HOST

VOLUNTEER Help Me Continue To Fight For Iowans. Consider A Monthly Recurring $5 - $10 Contribution. #takebackiowa DONATE TODAY

Copyright © 2005-2017 Senator Matt McCoy. All Rights Reserved. Paid for by the Committee to Elect Matt McCoy Now, you can imagine, as I quickly scanned this email, that I thought the guy had flipped his lid, throwing a party for this criminal.  Thinking that the guy was supporting Brandstadt in some fashion, I responded this way: "You know, if I was still an Iowan, the only way I'd give or help give that crook a bon voyage party would be with buckshot in his kiester...but thanks for the invite." Thankfully, the response to THAT response, came back...at my total surprise, this way: "Chris, My firm works with Senator McCoy on event planning/digital organizing.  I wanted to reach out & let you know the Bon Voyage party for Branstad is not a celebration FOR Branstad. Senator McCoy's event is celebrating that Gov Branstad is leaving, finally!  Feel free to click on the image in the email to take your to the events full information as this is a "Good Riddance" party.  If you have additional questions, please follow up!" Needless to say, I gave a huge sigh of relief, and gave back one more reply, as such: "Well, that says a lot more to me about Matt in the "Great" column, and gives me hope for Iowa's future.  Wish I could help you with THAT version of your send-off, but I'm currently busy being homeless with my wife in Sioux Falls, due to the actions (and inactions) of people just like Terry.  Now, get to work on John P. Sarcone next, and you will never have a more staunch supporter for Matt than me...lol" So much for my doubting Thomas attitude, where Matt was concerned, for a minute...ok, maybe all of 5 minutes then...lol Now let's move on to the 2nd hilarious thing of late...y'all may remember back when, before I went to jail, the fact that the feds (those of our wonderful FBI), had been on my email, my facebook, my computer/network....etc.  You may also remember that they've been gone since I got out...well, no longer.  No, since I'm now winning again (there's really no way I can lose), the head criminal, John P. Sarcone, has once again sicked what is probably a whole NEW team of FBI agents on me again, because, as you'll see by these screen shots, they are once again sifting through my emails at his request, STILL trying to catch me doing something...ANYTHING wrong...even though they haven't as yet, even after 3 years, so that they can arrest me for it, and get me put away for good in Federal Prison...oh sure, they'll do it because he's an official, sure, they'll do it for a while, maybe another two years...but they're just gonna find the same NOTHING that they found before...with the exception of THE TRUTH.  They'll get bored and go away again, I'm sure of it.  In the meantime, though, I feel it's important that you see ANOTHER 3 screen shots of them doing it, so that you can see that the harassment of this father continues...and continues...and continues on...and no one pays for it but me. Someone in PA hacking into my mail passwords Emails being gone through several times by those in Omaha. More Omaha opens ...Especially since Senator McCoy, and others ....*winks*...are now watching too. Remember, Omaha NE is the nearest and one of the largest FBI branches in the area; and since John P. has run out of closer agencies, he's evidently had to call Pennsylvania in, in hopes of finding new people to report my activities to, since, I'm sure, most of the other ones have told him there's nothing they can do...since they can't...do a damn thing. Good luck with that John P. Sarcone.  I hope to see you in prison soon, buddy boy...:D