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| Remember, this is when it was brand new, and empty. |
Well kids, it's June 2nd, the day after I had a surprise un-scheduled hearing at the Polk County Courthouse that I was not expecting. We'll get to the results of that hearing in the 2nd section of this "Part II (A) article; just after a line of asterisks below. Therefore, should the primary substance of this article fail to interest you, skip on down, and make a note of the following news headline.
"Iowa, and More importantly, Des Moines, Iowa", a 2nd blog of mine that I started a little over a year ago, then was left by the side of the road to die, is about to rise from the ashes once again and will now happen for two very obvious reasons:
1. This is AMERICA'S Deadly Sins...not Christopher Bruce's or Des Moines, Iowa Deadly Sins. It's time that this blog be hereby limited to dealing with the more prominent issues, as it first began, to those whole 2 years ago now (wow... who knew, eh?). This blog will, henceforth, after my release, deal ONLY with America's issues...not mine, or Iowa's....and will not involve my personal life in any way.
2. If you were to Google Des Moines, Polk County or Iowa, the sheer volume of tags associated with those searches contained in the tags in ADS (America's Deadly Sins) would bring up ADS numerous times. Here's the problem with that, though, no logical or person, upon the aforementioned places. A blog named with Des Moines and Iowa in the TITLE however.. that would be another bullet in the chamber, eh?
Therefore, "IAMIDMI" will be revived using life-saving technology, and will massively prompted to the world as the #1 source of all the REAL news that is news there, not just the souped up lies CityView Newspaper and the Des Moines Register tell you.
That blog can be found here:
http://desmoinesandiowathevenusflytrap.blogspot.com
Now, before you ask, all of America's Deadly Sins's content will remain right where it is now. ADS's content, where relevant, will be moved (via direct copy) to blog the 2nd as well, in a straight timeline, just like it is here. Also noteworthy, all of my new documents, until readership abounds on blog the 2nd will be double-posted and double-shared on all social medias everywhere, until blog the 2nd stands on its own, and its hit counter parallels ADS's. Then once I'm satisfied that it's working on its own, I will cease posting Iowa relevant news on ADS...unless it's relevant to the bigger picture. National exposure of Child Protective services will always be a priority and a primary theme on ADS, that will never change. But what happens to me personally, Iowa, and Des Moines will only be posted on "IAMIDMI" from this point on.
Author's addendum: "IAMIDMI" already has a slew of good articles that were posted there already, exclusively, for those friends and such from Iowa that are at all interested...and no, Mark, you can't comment there either. Too bad, sooooooo sad.
So whaddya say we move on to the more meaty portion of this article, hmm?? Again, for those of you already yawning, you know where to go (down...remember?). For those of you who are daring to carry on, be warned: The main purpose of this article is to bore the pants off of those parts of the country, not Iowan in nature, with the intricate mechanics of how Polk County, Iowa treats its prisoners and those released. There, I said it. Warning over. Carry on.
Let's begin by mentioning that, according to the Captain in charge of this jail (obviously, the SHERIFF, Bill McCarthy, who is SUPPOSED to be in charge really isn't...in charge of this jail - if he were, he'd be answering his mail, addressed to him, personally, wouldn't he?) states, in a letter he addressed right back to me in reply, that Polk County Jail passes inspections without fail, and is, I'm not kidding you...an "award-winning jail. What do you say we have some fun with this afore we carry on, OK?
Here's that article about how "award-winning" our very own jail is:
https://www.polkcountyiowa.gov/sheriff/news-press-releases/polk-county-jail-excelled-in-four-critical-inspections/
First and foremost, how can any jail...anyplace...be "award-winning?" That's just about all I have to say about that.
2nd, I'm sure "award-winning" jails aren't a whole lot different, really, than "award-winning" anything elses. For instance, just like "award-winning" restaurants, I'm sure that the management team of whatever restaurant we're talking about here is always fully aware of the possible or probable coming of an "inspection" or of a critics visit...and are, of course, well-prepared on the date of the arrival of the same, to where, inevitably, they pass with flying colors just about on every occasion. I'd hate to see the majority of these restaurants (and have, trust me), the rest of those non-inspection-type times. Not only that, management, usually, or in particular, the owners of said restaurants, not only don't have a clue about these inspections, nor are they usually involved in passing them or getting good reviews in any way, shape or form. I pretty much bet that nary an owner either rolled up their sleeves to help out with the cleaning, nor did a one of them participate in making any of the food that the critics gave rave reviews on. No, without the hard work of the worker ants in these places, those with the most to lose (employees, management teams and the like), most of these places would be closed down so fast, it'd make their pots and pans spin.
Finally, before we close the door forever on this "award-winning" crapola, let's take a break for a moment of fairness. I'm sure, that compared to the old Polk County Jail, where they piled the prisoners 10-high and packed 'em in like corralled cattle, then tossed 'em around to other state prisons in Iowa and Missouri (at the tax-payer's expense, naturally), as well as compared to other bigger and more nasty jails in larger cities, the new Polk County Jail is perfecto, and worthy of everything short of Bill being knighted by the Queen. I'm certain, as well, that to the staff and owners of this obvious business, as well as to the board members, stock holders and award givers, it also appears quite worthy of this honor. To those spending time in it, however, quite a different tune is sung. That being said, let's strap in, cuff up, and stomp on down and let's see what's REALLY going on here, shall we?
To those of you that are new to this blog, or that have only been around for a couple of months, I have written another article about this jail, that can be found HERE:
http://themightyswordamericasdeadlysins.blogspot.com/2016/02/bravingthe-banjo-part-viii-new-and.html
This article is more general, and serves as a great preamble to this one. Here is where we expound on the generalities, tear the place into itty bitty shreds, and show you every little thing that I'm certain those inspection teams missed; as they were tallying up their little score cards during their inspections.
SooooooooLET'S GET READY TO FUMMMMBLLLLEEEE!
Now, I'm sure that you are all of the mind that jail, in and of itself, is meant to be a deterrent, so that, once experienced, you would have no desire to return to it anytime soon. OK, Consider that understood. I'm also betting that you are of the mind that jails and prisons weren't built with the concept that, once inside one, the primary goal ISN'T to make sure that you feel comfortable, safe, or happy, pretty much for the previously states reasons...Granted.
I myself would have to say, then, if the above statements and their intentions were truly well-meaning and proven to be "reasonable" beyond the shadow of a doubt, then jails, and their prison cousins should then put newcomers in ridiculously unbearable situations and surroundings for a minimum of, at the most, maybe 24 hours...3 days, tops.
Well, it would seem that someone in Polk County has already thought of these things; and whoever it was, obviously had the Marquis de Sade, the Sadist's Sadist, in their family tree. Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, I hereby present:
The INTAKE
Getting arrested in Iowa and getting carried off to the Polk County Jail is hardly difficult. Surviving the ordeal that follows, however, requires true patience and stamina, the likes I have seen only in the toughest of humans...and even then, I worry. The probability of snapping is ripe at all times; and doubly, if not more, in the initial 24 hours. Segregation, if done at all in the beginning, is limited to the scope of absolute extremes. Unless a person is disruptive, destructive, disturbed or downright drunk upon arrest or soon thereafter, the person you could be stuck 5" away from could just be that serial rapist, murderer, child molester, or terrorist you've seen plastered all over the news, lo these past many months; and you'd never know it until after your neck was broken, because you chose not to uphold your promise to give whoever it was the cookie from your dinner tray.
I suppose we ought to draw a nice straight line from your house to the jail first.
So, day one, and you''re sitting on your front porch, smokin' a big fat J. Your neighbor George comes out on his front porch, and catches you having wayyyyy too much fun, smokin' a big fat ol' J on your front porch, makes a note of it, then calls in to his local legislator's office, and tells them that there really should be some kinda law prohibiting people from having way too much fun smokin' big fat ol' J's on their front porches.
Day two, Mr. Legislator, who's also supposed to be looking out for YOUR best interests as well as George's, without fanfare, passes a statute that states you should be arrested, should you engage in the much repeated behavior a couple of paragraphs ago.
Day 3, and you return to your coveted spot on the front porch, and Mr. Authoritay rolls up on you and escorts you to his waiting luxury police limo after hauling you off your front porch, big fat ol' J in tow, and in furry cuffs....well, sans the fur.
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After being rudely taken to the Polk County Jail, you are escorted inside, and immediately placed against a waiting mat, told to take off your shoes and socks, the cuffs are removed, and you are told to put on a used pair of gray socks and a used pair of orange flip-flops.
You are then placed in a cell with a pay phone in it, and told to wait patiently. The room is approximately 8'x10' wide, has a large window and windowed door in front, and is all cement, and has a 3' high cement slab seat that winds around the non-windowed portion. The phone makes collect phone calls at $14.00 a pop. You could be in this room for 5 minutes or five hours. The phone is said to make debit card calls too, but I have yet to see anyone pull this off (added to the fact that you do not have a debit card on you), nor does anyone seem to know how much these calls actually cost from this phone.
After the 5 minute "booking" where you just provide your name, birth date and a few more details, you are then shuffled into the intake area, into a small room that looks suspiciously like the last room you waited in, with some rather key differences. This room is affectionately known by inmates and Correctional Officers (heretofore known as C.O.'s) as the "Fishbowl." The obvious differences are:
1. You can see in the windowed portion, but you can barely see out of it...hence the fishbowl moniker.
2. You get a blanket now (wait, there's an effective counter to this seeming benefit up and coming)
3. There is no phone, nor any books, no pens or pencils, no paper, no hot water...no anything.
4. Instead of 1-5 of you, there is now 8-12 of you in the same cramped space.
5. You are now completely devoid of your street clothes, and are now in full standard issue used undies (consisting of brown boxers, and a brown T-shirt), green and white striped outers, and your previously issued orange and gray socks and shoes.
6. Chances are, if you sleep at all, you will be sleeping sitting up.
7. You could be in this room anywhere from 12-36 hours.
Now, granted, you or the people with you may bond out of this heavenly little cell (provided your short time with a payphone nets you an answer to your friends, relatives or a local bondsman that thinks you might bring in his next payday), but as soon as someone leaves, someone with less luck bonding out takes their place. Since there is next to nothing to do except pee or poop in the lone toilet in this cell, sleep, breath, talk or eat; the rest of your time is spent watching people go in and out, or bothering the C.O.'s to get what you want. Of course, the more you ask for something, the more you're duly ignored, unless you get a helpful C.O., about a one in ten chance.
After what could be a day and a half, you are then shuffled into your next temporary home, a "pod". For those of you that are not familiar with what a pod is, we'll cover this a little down the road. Basically, for all intents and purposes, a "pod" is a pre-fabbed jail housing unit that is identical to other units in the same jail or other jails. Some pods are made a little differently to house more specialized people. It's a standard, if you will, in a more modern jail setting.
The first pod that you go to is called Barney Land 1. This "pod" is a classification pod...whatever that means. The name stems from the time when this pod's TV set only sported the public access channel, including the 'Barney Show, of course. Nowadays, however, the only thing that plays on the TV set in Barney Land 1 is the Jail's rules, in both English and Spanish. There is nothing else to do in this pod but talk. If you've been to the jail before, you'd known other things that are available here, but most inmates are learning this stuff for the first time. You are, of course, expected to figure out these things for yourself. You aren't able to order any commissary (not even hygiene products), and you are stuck here for 2 days.
After this, you are taken to Barney Land 2, which is right next door to where you were in Barney Land 1, another classification pod, where you also stay for yet another 2 days. The difference? you now can watch up to 4 local stations on the tube, and you can finally order only hygiene products on the computer kiosks...not that you'll get them for at least a week, but you can sure order them anyway. We'll get to that soon, I promise.
The list of items you are given without a price tag goes like this (item, where you can receive the item, and times when you can receive them where):
A single bar of motel-sized soap
The fishbowl and right before BL 1
Before you go to BL 1
Toothbrush, 2 1/2 inches long
The Fishbowl, right before BL 1, and the pods
6;30-7;30 a.m.
Toothpaste
The Fishbowl, right before BL 1, and the pods
6:30-7:30 a.m.
Razor, Single-blade non-bic
Pods Only
5:30-6:00 a.m.
Pencils, Miniature-Golf Sized, 2 sharpen Max
Pods only
Anytime
Paper, single sheet, lined, 5 1/2"x8 1/2", with "Polk County (Jail)" and the address emblazened across the top (for those of you that weren't able to read the required 6 line address from the envelope).
Pods Only
Anytime
Spork, orange plastic
Pods Only
Upon request
8 oz. Tan plastic glass
Pods only
Upon request
Paper towels (napkins, cleaning)
Pods Only
Anytime
Toilet Paper
Everyplace
Anytime
The remainder of your complementary free items include;
One blue 6" thick foam mattress (that usually settles to 1-2" of thickness after it's been in use for about a month, depending on how big you are) with a 10" thick "pillow, built-in (same physics apply).
1/2 all steel bunk bed to place said foam mattress on
2 sick-green sheets (who is it that thinks of these marvelous color schemes I wonder?) that are much too short for said foam mattress
1 dark brown towel and 1 dark brown washcloth
2 dark brown T-shirts and 2 dark brown boxer briefs.
2 pairs gray tube socks
1 pair orange flip-flops
2 green and white striped outers for all occasions - fine dining, casual, court appearances (sans a jury), bedtime, and just plain ol' "lying around the pod". Another set of colors, orange and white, appears after "Barney two", for those more....disturbed patrons of the jail.
All clothing, towels and sheets issued to you? Used, more than likely by 1000 inmates before you.
After you get done moping around Barney 2 for two more days, you are then placed in your "forever" pod, your new permanent home, for however long. These sport some major differences over the barneys. I suppose now might be a good time to give you a description of this "pod", eh?
As you enter your pod head-on, the first thing you see on your right (or left, depending on which direction your pod faces), is an outdated printed set of the rules of the jail, evidently placed here for those folks not bight enough to navigate the computer kiosks, where a more detailed and most definitely more updated set of the rules is located. Of course, the way I see it is, if you can't navigate the kiosks (that you use almost daily, for other reasons), then I would assume that you are also too uneducated to read the rules, too...so why bother? Oh, and as long as we have nicked the issue, let's go on to it, shall we?
The kiosks, as you may have already guessed, are the very next thing you'll see. These are in every pod.
As I said before, no orders are allowed in the "Barney" pods (hygiene items can finally be ordered in Barney land 2, but these won't be delivered to you until you reach your last pod, on whatever day your commissary is re-delivered). If you are finally in your home pod, you can now order whatever you want; and yet, just like everything else in Polk County, nothing is ever that simple.
1. Pod deliveries are once a week; orders for any pod are to be completed no later than 7 a.m. on Friday morning. This is a major inconvenience for those pods who receive their orders every Thursday, in particular, for those that are just arriving. These folks will wait a total of almost 3 full weeks for their first order to be delivered, if you include their time spent in the "fishbowls" and the "Barneys". For you hygiene fanatics, that's 3 whole weeks without real soap or shampoo, a comb or a brush, tampons, lotion, deodorant or a contact lens holder. For you letter writers, or those of you that choose to represent yourselves in your cases, that's 3 whole weeks with no eraser or envelopes.
2. Prices to buy things on commissary are, for lack of a better term, OUTRAGEOUS. A Cup O' Soup that you can still find in most grocery stores for 30 cents is $1.27. Suave shampoo, the size you can still get at Walgreens for $.99? $5.00. Hard candy that you can still pick up most places for $.59 a bag, or 2 for a $1? $1.44 each bag. An off-brand deck of cards, that with normal use is likely to fall apart on you in a week or possibly less? $2.08. A contact lens holder for soft lenses is $7.97 (hard contacts will be taken from you, because they could be used to cut people (???)). An UNO deck is $18. Probably the largest and most atrocious gouge of them all, however, is an all digital AM/FM radio that only gets reception in around half of the pod, that you are more than likely still able to pick up at Wal-Mart or the Dollar Store for $10 or less? $45.99. To add insult to that injury, the two AAA batteries that power this radio, that are guaranteed to die on you before the week is out, that you can get at the Dollar Tree for $1? $2.82 for 2.
Along the left side of the pod (if the kiosks are along the right) is a line of 8-4 man cells on a lower and upper level. In these cells (that measure all of 13'x7') are 2 sets of bunk-beds. Disability is about the only guarantee that you'll get a bottom bunk; not even old age is an excuse, so you won't have to hike up the one-step ladder that even 20-year-olds have a problem climbing. At the end of your bunk or in a bag on the floor (that also has to hold your commissary items AND your dirty laundry) are the only two options for somewhere to place what little things you have, or are allowed. pictures (you're allowed to have 5 total that can be no bigger than 4"x6") can be "hung" on the wall by your bed (yet no scotch tape is allowed. You'll have to peel stickers off of bottles of your own shampoo or lotion, or save the caps off of milk containers for the AE stickers off the top of the caps, or used toothpaste to stick them up). All of your things and your pictures must be taken down and packed into your laundry bag once a week on Wednesday (inspection day) for 15 minutes, then you have to unpack them and put it all back after that.
Towards the front door of the pod, on each level, are 4 shaving-style sinks, and 4 toilets. Two toilets are on the side of the sinks (with mirrors located well above the sinks for better penis inspection while you're shaving and they're peeing) are for #1 business (standing), and two, on the other side of a full wall are for #2 (sitting) business. Also on the upper level is a large metal sink. This sink, for the lower level, is placed over by the shower area, and where it should be on the lower level is a small enclosed one-man cell called 'The Blue Room", to be used at the C.O.'s discretion, for those more troublesome inmates to be housed, if they're being unruly.
There are NO privacy walls in front of or between toilets (save a 3' high wall between both sets of the #1 and #2 toilets themselves); so tinkles of #1 business and the smells of all #2 business is shared with the entire pod, without mercy. Another fun thing about the #1 toities: Imagine that cleaning the toilets at home (the toilets in the Jail have no lids by the way...for either #1 or #2 business) was left up to your husband. Now imagine what those toilets would look like after a month's time. That's what the #1 business toilets look like every single day at the Polk County Jail. Award Winning Jail my butt.
Along the opposite wall (where the kiosks are), around half-way up the pod is a 20'x20' TV room, in a depressed area behind the main hall (which measures 24'x94'). Here, you have a 22" TV on the wall that gets 19 approved channels. There's another one that is placed high above the door to the exercise room, located on the end of the main hall (we're coming to this soon), that you cannot hear unless you're able to afford that $46 AM/FM radio we discussed earlier; or if you're lucky enough to have the sub-titles on. The chances of you getting to watch something you enjoy watching is around 1 in 10 if you have a radio, and about 1 in 20 if you don't. There are only 15 or so chairs in the TV room of any one pod, so if something is on that everyone wants to watch (like the Friday or the Saturday night movie), you might end up watching it on the floor...or be out of luck altogether.
Located in front of the all-windowed wall of the TV room is the C.O.'s desk, cramped as close as is possible in front of the T.V. room as possible, for maximum cell viewing. The C.O. faces the cells, with a computer screen in front of him (which seems to be always on Facebook). To his right, screwed tightly onto one upper ledge of the desk, is a single cheap, hand-crank-style pencil sharpener, often in poor to as much as completely non-working condition. The C.O. is only allowed to issue out these items:
Contraband Items
One fingernail clipper, un-sanitized/un-sterilized. Can be issued at anytime upon request, but if not returned immediately, a search will immediately ensue. This is because these clippers are also used to give other inmates hair/beard cuts, because not everyone is wealthy enough to afford $14 hair cuts. HEALTH RISK ALERT: Hepatitis.
Black Rubber stretch gloves. The C.O. uses these gloves to handle food trays, used razors, and to (diligently, and sometimes criminally) search inmates when they are coming into and going out of the pods. These are only given to inmates once a week on inspection day for cleaning; and only with the close supervision of the C.O., as to whom is in possession of them. He will keep track of who has them until they are disposed of in his personal garbage. These are considered contraband because of the string in the bottom of the gloves, and because the rubber portion of them is used to make handballs (God forbid any inmate should have any fun, or get any exercise). Once, I was almost placed in solitary (the SHU, Special Housing Unit) because I asked for a pair of these gloves with which to clean our pod toilets...no kidding. Another thing, even if you're leaving the jail? They still search you, still cuff and chain you up...like you're going to take something of theirs out of the jail, or like you're going to do something to them at the moment you're being let out. Unbelievable.
Cloth cleaning towels
Razors (only allowed you between 5:30-6:00 a.m.)
The non-contraband items the C.O. can issue to you are toilet paper rolls, paper towels, a toothbrush or toothpaste (and only between 6:30-7:30 a.m.), pencils, and jail paper.
Further on down the way is the 19'x10' shower area, indented into the wall, like the TV room is. This area, like the toilets, isn't walled off over 5' high, and visibility of the men in it taking showers is around 80 percent or better...depending on the price of your rail position ticket. A camera is placed right above it along the wall next to the shower, so the C.O.'s can also check you out (and supposedly watch to make sure you aren't being sexually molested in the shower...like anyone could pull this off in such a small space, and with the walls being as low as they are.
Speaking of cameras, there are three, all-told, per pod. One was just mentioned, one is in the exercise room, and one is by the very front of the pod, by the door.
By the way, if something of the jails' were to come up missing, or if something of theirs disappears that they don't want you to have (whether it's worth 25 cents or 25 dollars doesn't really matter) the staff on duty will turn the place upside down and run both the security videos back to find out who has it, and punish them (I saw them do this twice, once for a tray of their crummy food, and once for a bottle of hand sanitizer). However, should someone steal your $100 commissary bag, the C.O.'s on duty will shrug their shoulders and state that it's your responsibility to watch your own things, even when you're asleep or not in the pod. 'Magine that.
Finally, at the far end of the pod, there is the Exercise Room, which measures close to 25'x28'...and is completely empty. There are two windows (that are too high to see out of) where, on a sunny day, you MIGHT be able to enjoy an entire hour of fractured sunlight a day. There is a single window of two that can be opened for fresh air...but only if you beg enough, and only if it's not too hot or cold. You are never allowed outside for any reason at the Polk County Jail, even if you're in there for over a year.
The entire size of the pod's common area? 25'x94' (sans the TV room, the exercise room and the shower area). The entire size of the pod, where you're crammed in with up to 64 cantankerous volatile powder-keg-type inmates, and 1 more than likely irritable trigger happy C.O.? A whopping 58'x94'.
As promised earlier, the differences between the Barney pods and your forever pod:
1. Barney pods usually don't have more than 40 inmates in them at any given time. Home pods generally have 55-64 inmates in them at ALL times.
2. All commissary can now be ordered and delivered to you.
3. The appearance of inmates wearing orange and white stripes.
4. 15 more cable stations to watch on TV
5. You can now safely unpack all ten of your belongings and keep them out, unless:
a. You get in an argument or a fight with someone and are either placed in the "hole" (The SHU); after which you have to endure the Barney Land pods again to get back to a real home,
b. Someone doesn't like you (or you don't like them) and they (or you) "kite" you out to another pod (we'll discuss kites in part B of this series).
We'll stop here for now, OK? When we return in July, we'll discuss a day in the life of our PCJ inmates.
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Well? In case you hadn't already heard (or figured it out on your own), July 4th, Independence Day, is also MY independence day. That means, of course, that I'm going to TRY their probation. Of course, you and I both know it won't last, but I'm willing to give it the ol' college try. If nothing else, I'll get a nice little vacation in before they "violate" me, more than likely.
